TCG Update: Filming Competed, Still Clueless…

Update time, dear friends!

Another notch on the ol’ belt, another feather in the cap, another failed attempt at sobriety for Lindsey Lohan (probably inspired by one of our projects) – whatever the idiom may be, the bottom-line is we have wrapped production for yet another Colon Films spliff.

Major props must go out to all of our actors, extras, and crew for pulling off a rather complicated two-day shoot. Special thanks go out to (not in order of importance):

Danni D – for her service as our UPM (Unit Production Manager), the use of her home for two important scenes, and also for creating a hideously funny-looking Jello mold that would have stolen the show if it weren’t for…

…Miss Kim for “dying” on us without the use of a stunt double, and for the creation of one of the best funeral photo collages I’ve ever had the misfortune to lay eyes upon.

Andrew G for diving in and helping as our monkey-of-the-day-jack-of-all-trades on Day 2 of filming. We truly needed that extra help.

To all our extras, but especially Sarah C, who was there for us on short notice in case we had to do an emergency reshuffling of cast.

Thanks also to our actors/actresses Mike C, Jordan (last name not V) Bud G, Quentin W, Matt A, Miss Kim and Sarah R – t’was a pleasure directing you.

On a related note, we have several projects that are very near completion – and to that end we have plans in the works for a special event where we will release all of our projects at once; a Colon Films Festival as it were. Stay tuned for news about that, because you may not want to miss it!

So, what’s the Colon Films crew been up to lately you ask? (as if)

Well hello there again dear friends, it’s been awhile. So sorry we haven’t been in touch lately…

But we have in fact been fairly busy; concocting new evil ideas and actually filming the ones we already hatched. We have been a bit behind on the editing curve (not to mention the blogging curve), but we are close to releasing 3 projects in the near future for your viewing displeasure. Those projects are Artsy Fartsy (a Miss Kim joint), The New Manager (a JW gut bomb), and 4HFO (aka 4 Hour Freak Out – another JW gem).

In addition to those completed projects, we are ready to begin filming beginning on May 19th – 20th my first attempt at glory – The Clueless Greeter. This project should end up being about a 3-5 minute skit of potentially hilarious proportions. We’ll have the regular crew working on this one, but this time I get to direct – much to JW’s chagrin.

As for the actors on this little jaunt, we have a good mix of new blood and old hands. Miss Kim (in lots of stuff)  and Bud G, and Mike C (both from the unreleased The New Manager)will be putting on there acting hats this time to joining our new friends Matt A, Sarah R, and Quentin W. Of the 3 newbies, Sarah has the most experience as an actress, so we’re looking forward to seeing what she can bring to the table.

As always, we’ll keep you updated on the progress of all of our projects, and on the day of shooting we’ll post Twitter updates with pics for your entertainment.

Till then,

keep it real-ish.

 

T’was a Success! “Artsy Fartsy” Heads to Post-production

Two days of filming will soon be cinemagic gold (yeah right)! Through the combined efforts of all our staff, actors, and fans, we think we’ve got something pretty good brewing.

Miss Kim, Jonsquared and JW all managed to keep their enormous ego’s in check long enough to keep the talent happy and productive. Brice B rocked as our techie utility man, Danni D provided some much-needed organization as our production manager, and Anna B came through with some serious eats while moonlighting as Rhymes with Witch Catering (not an underhanded compliment btw Jonsquared).

The resident “talent” didn’t disappoint either; Samantha, Linda, Alex, Brandi P, Jacob G, and all the Yeeps who showed up for the all-important final scene (and yes even me) made the success of the project all but a forgone conclusion. We know you can’t wait to see the results of all the hard work (uh huh)!

Jonsquared will now take his talents to the arduous and tedious (two words often used to describe him) task of post-production where all that crazy magic will be distilled into one bitter pill – er, I mean one sip of glorious moonshine. Seriously though, this is where he excels, so we’re all looking forward to the end result! When its movie time, we’ll post something about a premiere party, so keep in touch with us here at Colon Films for future updates!

Thanks again to everyone for their hard work – we couldn’t have done it without you!

It’s Time to BRING IT

Yes that’s right friends, we officially begin filming this Friday evening and then again all day on Saturday. We feel good about the proceedings so far; we’ve had a table reading and a dress rehearsal (not to mention countless meetings of the Colon Films “brain-trust”) all in preparation for this weekend. Thanks to the Hotel 50, we’ve been granted an awesome space to film, and we expect it to be a masterpiece.

This time we’re involving our extended Yelp family in the oh-so-dramatic, and penultimate scene (paging Ron T).  This Saturday from 4-6pm we’ll have an event at the H50 – the resident hotel bistro – to prepare the our lucky conscripted minions for eternal glory in what will be the greatest scene in movie history. We’re really looking forward to this day – it’s been a long time in coming.

For those of you who haven’t signed up for the event on Yelp, here is the link: http://www.yelp.com/events/portland-uye-of-all-the-gin-joints-in-all-the-towns-in-all-the-world . (mad props to our UPM Danni D for setting everything up for us) Even if you don’t belong to Yelp, you’re welcome to join in the fun. Shout out also goes to Rhymes with Witch  est. 2011 catering services who will be providing her services on filming day.

Together, we can make a difference. Uh-huh.

We will even be attempting live Twitter updates as it happens, so if you use Twitter – our handle is @ColonFilms. Photos and fun will abound if you do.

 

Artsy Fartsy Update

We’re growing up and getting better all the time here at Colon Films! “How?” you ask? Well, we went through our first ever dress-rehearsal on location this Saturday – and it was fantastic. What’s clear now after the rehearsal is that we really do rock.

This movie has so much action you’ll slap your best friend! You want some Shakespeare with your Tarantino? You got it. You want the two-headed monster JonsquaredMissKim behind the camera? You got it. You want to see me spastically gesturing on the floor, foaming at the mouth? Well, you can’t – I did that at home the other night and it wasn’t on camera – so too bad. 

In any case, we are primed and ready for filming beginning March 2nd and wrapping up in the evening on March 3rd. March 3rd will be an important day, because we need extras for the penultimate scene in our movie. I’ve heard a rumor that a UYE (Unofficial Yelp Event for the uninitiated) is being created soon for that very purpose…In the meantime, I may bother a few people who took pictures of our dress rehearsal and post a few of them up on the blog for your viewing pleasure.

Stay tuned for updates on that and other fun stuff regarding our film-making prowess!

It’s Gametime

Hello again dear friends!

The month of February is shaping up to be a busy one for us here at your favorite film company. Filming for “Artsy Fartsy” (the artist formally known as UAFP) has been set for March 2nd and 3rd, and all the other fun stuff associated with pre-production (table readings, rehearsals, boring meetings where Jonsquared and JW duel over the title of who’s most power-hungry, etc.) begins in earnest on Feb. 12th.

We’ll have some new people working with us on this film; a good friend of Colon Films – some of you know her, some of you love her, and still some of you want to be her – Danni D will be acting as our PM on this project. We believe she has the ability to maintain organization over the complex (code for diva-like) collective ego that is the three-headed monster of Jonsquared, JW and Miss Kim (are you still sure you want this gig Danni? Yeesh.)

In addition to Danni, we have three all-new actors to work with as well. They represent the best of who we auditioned for AF and we know that Alex, Samantha, and Linda will be all that and a bag of chips throughout the process. We’ve been working on this for a while now, so we’re really excited to get this crazy train rollin’.

As always, we’ll update you often about the progress and will post moderately amusing and educational photos for your enjoyment as well.

Sashimi Shower

This was a fake commercial we shot in September, 2011.

Oh, Hello…

…and welcome to the year 2012 – our year of (cue monster truck voiceover) TOTAL DOMINATION!!! Er, or something resembling productivity in our chosen field… Anyway, while most of you have been getting accustomed to the new year, we here at Colon Films have been quietly active behind the scenes. Here’s an update on what we’ve been up to…

Jonsquared and I put the finishing touches to the production stage of the 4HourFreakOut commercial short (affectionately known as 4HFO). I lent my considerable voice “talents” to the narration voiceover, while Jonsquared chuckled mightily at how many takes it took to do it. I was a little depressed because my beloved Packers had just laid a horribly stinky rotten egg on national tv, but I persevered like a true champion and made it through. The point is, that very soon we’ll be able to post that little nugget of creative genius for your viewing displeasure.

In addition to that, we will be holding two more auditions this coming weekend for our UAFP – 1/21(1:30pm – 3:30pm) and 1/22 (3:30pm – 5:30pm). We have several people trying out for a limited amount of roles, but we would be remiss if we didn’t let people know – we really do want more people to audition for these roles. It’s going to be a blast, so please let contact us if you’re at all interested in becoming the next big thing!

2012 is going to be a very busy year for us here at Colon Films, and to that end we’re also scouting out locations for office space to supplement our production needs. We wouldn’t be averse to any advice or ideas that YOU our loyal fans may have regarding suitable locations in the PDX area. Feel free to contact us about any good leads if ya got ’em!

That’s it for now, but stay tuned….there’s always more to come.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all our friends who have been followed our progress over that last few months. 2012 is going to be a fantastic year for us here at Colon Films – especially now that holiday season is over. We have big plans and many projects in the works. Over the next few weeks, we’ll regroup and begin the arduous task of going over them once again, and getting back into the swing of things. Keep an eye out for us – it’s going to be a great year!

Happy December!

While we are in a holding pattern with regards to our upcoming projects (due to the accursed Holiday season), that won’t stop us from coming up with new and twisted ideas to maniacally formulate into cinema magic. JW, Johnsquared, Miss Kim, Patrick and I are always coming up with new and improved ways of humiliating ourselves on screen (mainly me).

We are still planning a second audition for our UAFP (Untitled Artsy Fartsy Project), so you know we haven’t forgotten about that. If you are interested in possibly trying out for one of the parts for the film, just drop us a line, and we’ll send you a copy of the script and fit you in to our so-very-busy schedules *cough*.

Anyway, that’s all for now – more to come in the near future no doubt. Hippo Holindaise!